DEAR ABBY: A pal’s spouse’s aged organic father was killed in a one-car auto accident lately. She had been estranged from him for as lengthy as I can bear in mind (more than 30 years?) and informed me over the years how much she hated him. She adored her stepfather, who died a few years back.
My pal is now upset with me because I failed to ship condolences to his spouse following her father’s demise, despite the hateful emotions she had voiced about him. I actually had reached out to her after the demise of her stepfather, for whom she cared very much.
What is the rule of etiquette when a particular person loses a member of the family they hated? What would I even say? “Sorry for your loss”? It just seems that any sentiment would be faux. — NOT INSENSITIVE IN ARIZONA
DEAR NOT INSENSITIVE: I agree with you. Explain to your pal that you didn’t imply to slight his spouse, but after listening to how much she disliked her organic father for so many years, you didn’t think she wanted consoling. Then, in a separate call, inform his spouse that you are sorry if your lack of response was hurtful to her, because it was not your intention.
DEAR ABBY: What do you do about a co-worker who sends blended indicators to you? I am a lady about 72 years outdated, and he is about 20 years youthful. I believe he’s single or unattached. I lost my boyfriend 10 years in the past to coronary heart issues.
Over the previous three to 4 years, this co-worker has made cute faces at me, winked, gotten bodily shut, adopted me in the office for a second, and many others. We have provided to purchase each other a beverage. He’s a good particular person but acts odd! I think he’s shy or has social nervousness. What do you think is the cause of this conduct? — PUZZLED AT WORK
DEAR PUZZLED: You say he “sends mixed signals,” but you’ve listed only behaviors that present curiosity. Perhaps this gentleman is flirtatious by nature, or perhaps he’s always socially awkward. What you know for certain is that he enjoys your firm and seems to be wanting for companionship. I say observe through on that drink supply, but strive not to learn too much into it. You have nothing to lose, but you may achieve a good pal.
DEAR ABBY: Our daughter has been in a long-term relationship with the most fantastic younger man. They stay collectively, and their dedication is robust. They have supported each other through extreme sickness, loss of dad and mom, employment layoffs, and many others.
When in social conditions, we are typically at a loss how to correctly introduce him. He’s an essential half of our household, and we are proud of him, but he is not our son-in-law, and he is much more than our daughter’s boyfriend. Any solutions? — TERM OF ENDEARMENT IN TEXAS
DEAR TERM: It seems your daughter and this younger man are fortunate to have discovered each other. My suggestion is to ask him how he would like to be launched, and observe his lead. You can’t go flawed that means.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For practically 4 a long time, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was based in 1956 by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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